If I See You There

Ghost of your voice, it follows me here—

Old wounds, still tender, hum hymns of our holy disaster.

Did you have to teach me how it feels, to be too small to fight back?

Fawning, fragile, I trembled in that clearing.

Once, you were there too, but you let the rot take you whole. 

Running was the only prayer I knew for a while, and I sang it with bloody feet. 

God, I thought my Heaven would mean to Hell with him.

I never thought Your mercy could still my flight.

Violence moved him, and grace kept me grounded.

Everlasting love, may it find him, like the sun rising over a sinner’s grave.

How will it feel to see scars turn to light?

If I see him past those gates, I pray he remembers my face.

My hand will take his, and we will say nothing.